Why Acceptance?
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance is not about giving up or giving in. It’s about making room. It’s about noticing that the harder we try to push thoughts and feelings away, the more tangled we become in their grip.
When we fight against what’s showing up inside—whether it’s anxiety, grief, shame, or self-judgment—we often reinforce its presence. Control strategies might offer short-term relief, but they tend to come at the cost of vitality, connection, and action.
This is where The Open-Hands Drill comes in.
The Drill: A Simple, Embodied Practice
This exercise takes less than a minute and can shift your entire relationship with your internal experience.
Instructions:
Clench your fists tightly.
Really squeeze them and press your fists together.Pause and notice.
What happens in your shoulders? Your breath? Your posture?
What does this “fight” feel like—physically?Now open your hands.
Palms up, resting gently.Sit with whatever is there.
Discomfort. Thoughts. Urges. It may still be present—but notice what changes when you're not bracing against it.
What This Models
This drill works on two levels:
Functionally, it shifts your behavior from avoidance to openness, a move that increases flexibility and available action.
Symbolically, it models a new relationship with your experience—one where willingness replaces resistance.
From a Functional Contextualism lens, this shift alters the broader context in which the discomfort is occurring. We stop treating discomfort as the enemy and instead treat it as something we can carry while we move toward what matters.
From a Relational Frame Theory perspective, this brief physical metaphor (fists vs. open hands) alters the transformation of function—how we relate to and derive meaning from an internal experience. The meaning of “pain” changes in the context of openness.
When to Use It
This is a go-to move when:
You feel stuck in mental struggle.
You notice yourself avoiding a feeling or thought.
You’re trying to force control over something internal that resists it.
It’s also an excellent way to interrupt a rumination loop or shift gears during a moment of overwhelm. By engaging your body directly, you bypass some of the stickiness of verbal problem-solving.
Final Thought
Acceptance isn’t passive. It’s a powerful, deliberate stance. By opening your hands—and your posture—you make space for action, for values, and for life as it is.
Try it the next time you catch yourself bracing.
Just open your hands. Breathe.
And notice what changes.
This article supplements the episode audio by the same title in the ACT in Action podcast. You can listen to the full audio version titled “The Open-Hands Drill: Practicing Acceptance in Action” by searching for it here in Wellnesstalks.